Okay, so not only do I have a tendency to go MIA from this blog for a while, but as the title suggests, I also have a flair for the dramatic. Firstly, sincerest apologies to all of you, my loves, my readers, for my unintended absence of late. I have some explanations but alas, they are excuses and I’ll keep them brief. And secondly, I did become a superhero (of sorts), details below….
Edits Killed Me and I’m Now a Ghost
I could stop there but perhaps I should elaborate? I’ve been struggling through my edits for Dreamweaver. I think when you’ve read something 80 bajillion times at some point it’s perfectly natural to just want to gobble it up and eat it, right? Or is that just me?
I had to start over because I was literally demolishing every page. I might as well had a red paint can next to me and just been dropping each page in it. It was bad guys. I was not being kind to myself or to my work. I was in a bad place. I may have died and become a ghost at one point only to then be brought back to life with some very loving words from my husband. So, I guess technically I’m not a ghost anymore. So much for my heading.
In any case, I reprinted the shredded pages and went back over them with a kinder heart. And have finished with the hand edits. On to implementing them in the Scrivener file. Please…please let this be one of the last times I do this to myself.
I Started a Vlog!
I’d been feeling creatively blocked for ages. This is partially why I stopped blogging, not because I didn’t have a kazzillon blog post ideas, but because I felt inadequate to pursue any of them and anxiety crippled me and so yeah, I stopped.
But the need to create kept pulling at me so I started to vlog. I don’t have many videos up yet but I’ve learned a few things from the couple I’ve made. They’re surprisingly liberating and I’m told that I’m adorable even though I feel incredibly awkward. See me talk about why I paused my read of The Raven King.
But the other surprising benefit of vlogging that I’ve learned is that I’m able to talk about things that I wouldn’t ordinarily discuss here on the blog that, now for some strange odd reason, I now feel like I can. One example is that I opened up about my struggles with body image. It’s was both terrifying, and awesome and like I said before, very freeing to just put those thoughts out there.
So how long will I be out of my creative slump? I don’t know. But I’m going to ride this wave while it lasts.
I Got Crafty
I enjoy crafts. Like a lot. So for Mother’s Day I wanted to make “charm bracelet bookmarks”. I saw an idea on Pinterest and wanted to take it a step further by customizing each bookmark for each mother. Naturally, I had to make one for myself!
For my husband’s grandmother, whom I’ve grown really close to, I made her a charm necklace for her 91st birthday. I questioned whether or not it was too hip and then said eff it. Grandma Lu could be hip. And guess, what!?! She loves it! (Also, I totally thought the little animal was a cat, but I’m now pretty sure it’s a fox. Whatevs. It’s a foxcat.)
In hindsight, I didn’t take pictures with my kids like I should have/wanted to. But the day after I reflected in a very emotional post the many things I’ve learned as a mother.
Call Me Captain Semicolon
You see, I’ve planned this all out. The name Captain Semicolon has just the right amount of awkward for me to suit up for. Just picture it. Pencils will hold my hair, I’ll have an APA style handbook at my utility belt to throw at villains and I’ll tell them to read it and they’ll die of confusion and I’ll never have to lay a hand on them. It’s the perfect offense/defense. Or I’ll just tell them to write me a paper, they’ll go procrastinate, of course, and naturally they’ll bring me something that’s plagiarized and I’ll flunk them and then I’ll win. It’s perfect. I’ll make the best kind of superhero.
But really, this is how things went down. I was swamped at work and it felt like the entirety of the university campus slept in front of my office for the last month and a half of the semester due to final papers, projects, portfolios, etc. I saved so many lives this semester I really do think the Justice League should give me a call. A student even told me I was their hero.
But you know what the best part of this semester was? It was going through the graduation list this year. It felt amazing because I saw names of students that I’ve personally invested in during my time working here at the university. I know how hard they worked, I know all those hours they spent coming to me asking for extra help didn’t go to waste because the proof was right there in front of me like I always told them it would. It felt great knowing that I played a small part in their success that had led to their big day.
So as much as I appreciate that student making me feel special like I was their hero, and in my mind like a superhero, I’m not really the hero here, they are. All of them. For getting out there and pushing hard, for not being too proud to seek help when they needed it (for realizing they needed help in the first place). And ultimately, for reaching out for their dream and graduating and taking the next step in their lives. They’re the heroes.
Well, that’s all for now, folks.